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Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in streetdreams203's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, May 24th, 2005
11:04 am
broken heart MAY 24TH, 2005
Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I ask myself...What would it be like to be noticed by someone, to be reconized, to be loved. I just want to be able to feel that feeling again. i would do ANYTHING, just to know that deep down inside, i was needed. but nobody ever needs me, i'm not important. i've always been a fuck up...I've never had much, just my music that i listen to.
You see, i found this girl...and shes one of a kind....and i've loved her for a long while now...and i dunno, were kinda datin', but not really. we both love each other but we dont think its a good idea to date because its so close to tha end of tha year. And well, she's made me feel so loved tha past week because we have been soooo strong together, it felt like nothing could stop us, but only because i worked at it, and pushed towards it. i do so much for her...i love her so much. and now she and I are just goin' downhill and i feel like she NEVER notices me anymore...i havent even given her a kiss all day and we always do stuff like that because were cool. winks* lol...it hurts so much...she was in my room today and she didnt even talk to me, she just talked to her friend that was in tha room as well. so of corse, i'm tha 3rd person that has no one to talk to. and then what makes it worse is that she doesn't even notice that i feel like i'm bein' left out. i hate feeling left out, i'm tired of not bein' noticed. everyone just cares for themselves at tha end...i dont know what to do, and i've been so upset these past couple dayz...cuz everyday gets worse then tha day before...what if i lose her? what if i WANT to lose her? where and what would i do? i would have nothing...so basically, no matter how she treats me and no matter how much she hurts me or makes me feel like a million dolla's, no mater what i cant leave her. i'm stuck...and i guess i just wanna go back to last week, when we were so strong, stronger then we were ever before.

Current Mood: lonely
11:03 am
f
f
Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
10:53 am
cheaaa
eh yo, whats crackin'?

Wow...i'm back...i have to decide whether i am goin' to stay on this site or not...lol lol...well anyways, i told Krista everything tonight...i mean, why should i hide my feelings??? if i ran from my feelings anymore i would have exploded or something...so i just told her what i told everybody else, shes an awesume person and personally i dont know anybody as special as her...i dunno...everybody else knows how much i still care for her...

i'm doin HUGE things wit my music now....might even be on tha next dj watz mixtape...its crazy!!! i remember when i couldnt even stay on a fuckin' beat.. i would always rap too fast....now its like...i make FLAMEZ outta nothing...i'm wit Chozen Few now and Dj Roc-A-Way and Mixtape DJ C.Los... so anything goes...

hmmm...i just got back to Hoosac tonight....i gotta go...my bad...

Current Mood: unknown
Tuesday, January 25th, 2005
11:40 pm
Eh yo, i decided i'm gonna write again... Matt Rosenblum

hmmmm.. i just dunno, i do drugs to set my mind free, thats what makes me happy...anyone thats gotta problem wit it? SOLVE IT! dont make it a problem. i have too many people tryin' to play "tha mother" on that issue...tryin' to make me become all religious and shit when i know thats just not me. I cant just throw on a cross and read tha bible and find God and then call myself happy. nahhh... cuz thats not how i was raised to deal wit shit... in tha streets, they just teach u how to roll, smoke & sell weed. so thats how i learned to cope wit thangs...so basically i just wanna say i'm sorry to ya'll that dont wanna see me gettin high and whatnot cuz i proly aint gonna stop no time soon.
Tonight at around 10ish, Cassie called me, shes a friend of mine and she was talkin' and whatnot and after she paused i had to tell her that i was high at tha moment and immeditaley after i told her that, i could feel tha angry vibrations from Cassie on tha other side of tha fone, she was just so pissed/shocked at me that it was silent, but i could just sence it...and i mean, we talked for about 5 or 6 minutes more until she finally just said she cant take it anymore and she said goodnight...
I dunno, i just wish she'd understand, or at least give me tha respect that at least i gave her a chance and i actually tried to read tha bible and tried to find God instead of drugs...it just wasnt me, it didnt help. Shit, half tha time i needed a cigarette after reading 2 paragraghs in that book. it just made me more depressed. but u know, i gave it a chance, cuz maybe it would of worked, u never know..but tha point is i tried, so u should at least respect for that...

Everyday i try soo hard to get by, really, i do, i put in soo much of my inner strength just to make it through one day at a time. u just gotta keep strugglin' cuz lifes a gamble and at any minute i can be faced wit some harsh choices that i dont nessasarally wanna take. I didn't wanna have to face a judge in court...i didnt want to face no jail time, i never expected i would ever get kicked outta my house, I NEVER thought that me and Krista would even think about breaking up, but unfortunatley, all of that DID HAPPEN. and those are tha main reasons why i need to get fucked up... now i'm not sayin' i dont have some fun in my life, i mean, yes, obviously i do have alot alot alot of sex and i do have alot of musical talent and hard work ethic, but all that is nothing if ur not with tha one person u truely love... and for me, thats Krista.
my life is incomplete without her.....it really is... u can ask anyone i know, they'll tell u tha truth, they know i still love her...

but anyway, enough ramballying... this entry was just to talk about who i am.....now u know...my next entrys will actually be about tha actual day i have been having.

i just wanna say my life aint fun & games no more, there aint no happy family no more, there aint no "Hi Mom, i missed u!" with a big hug, theres no more Krista, Ain't no more goodnight kisses and beautiful eyes to stare at in daze, theres no more Bill, 2 shots to tha chest, theres no more smiling & laughing, theres no more freedom from tha cops, nahhh nothing.....
10:35 pm
LET THA BITCH IN ME, OUT!
Eh yo, i decided i'm gonna write again... Matt Rosenblum

hmmmm.. i just dunno, i do drugs to set my mind free, thats what makes me happy...anyone thats gotta problem wit it? SOLVE IT! dont make it a problem. i have too many people tryin' to play "tha mother" on that issue...tryin' to make me become all religious and shit when i know thats just not me. I cant just throw on a cross and read tha bible and find God and then call myself happy. nahhh... cuz thats not how i was raised to deal wit shit... in tha streets, they just teach u how to roll, smoke & sell weed. so thats how i learned to cope wit thangs...so basically i just wanna say i'm sorry to ya'll that dont wanna see me gettin high and whatnot cuz i proly aint gonna stop no time soon.
Tonight at around 10ish, Cassie called me, shes a friend of mine and she was talkin' and whatnot and after she paused i had to tell her that i was high at tha moment and immeditaley after i told her that, i could feel tha angry vibrations from Cassie on tha other side of tha fone, she was just so pissed/shocked at me that it was silent, but i could just sence it...and i mean, we talked for about 5 or 6 minutes more until she finally just said she cant take it anymore and she said goodnight...
I dunno, i just wish she'd understand, or at least give me tha respect that at least i gave her a chance and i actually tried to read tha bible and tried to find God instead of drugs...it just wasnt me, it didnt help. Shit, half tha time i needed a cigarette after reading 2 paragraghs in that book. it just made me more depressed. but u know, i gave it a chance, cuz maybe it would of worked, u never know..but tha point is i tried, so u should at least respect for that...

Everyday i try soo hard to get by, really, i do, i put in soo much of my inner strength just to make it through one day at a time. u just gotta keep strugglin' cuz lifes a gamble and at any minute i can be faced wit some harsh choices that i dont nessasarally wanna take. I didn't wanna have to face a judge in court...i didnt want to face no jail time, i never expected i would ever get kicked outta my house, I NEVER thought that me and Krista would even think about breaking up, but unfortunatley, all of that DID HAPPEN. and those are tha main reasons why i need to get fucked up... now i'm not sayin' i dont have some fun in my life, i mean, yes, obviously i do have alot alot alot of sex and i do have alot of musical talent and hard work ethic, but all that is nothing if ur not with tha one person u truely love... and for me, thats Krista.
my life is incomplete without her.....it really is... u can ask anyone i know, they'll tell u tha truth, they know i still love her...

but anyway, enough ramballying... this entry was just to talk about who i am.....now u know...my next entrys will actually be about tha actual day i have been having.

i just wanna say my life aint fun & games no more, there aint no happy family no more, there aint no "Hi Mom, i missed u!" with a big hug, theres no more Krista, Ain't no more goodnight kisses and beautiful eyes to stare at in daze, theres no more Bill, 2 shots to tha chest, theres no more smiling & laughing, theres no more freedom from tha cops, nahhh nothing.....
Tuesday, September 21st, 2004
2:46 pm
My 1st Entry
Whats good ya'll? its ur boy Matt Rosenblum.
I finally decided to come back and join tha LiveJournal peeps. I've had some rough times.....but i'm glad to be back in New York at Hoosac (My boarding school) away from all of my parents drama. (Dont worry, my school is Co-Ed)

2 weeks ago, when i was still in Connecticut on my summer break, i got ARRESTED!!! shit was crazy... I was wit my boyz smokin' up and we was on private property and someone called tha cops on us for trustpassing. when tha cops came over we were already done smoking, but we had mad stuff on us. tha cops searched all of us and we all got busted. when he brought me to tha back of tha cop car i was hand cuffed and he slammed my face in tha hood of tha car. he even tried stealing my wallet (Asshole). then i was taken to tha police station and finger printed and whatnot... i was held in a jail cell over night. finally my parents came to pick me up and i was in big trouble and all this shit.

I went to court on Septemeber 8th, 2004. With 2 feloney's, it didn't look good. I could have been sentenced to a year in prison, but instead I was charged wit 1 year probabtion, 32 hours of comminuty service, and 8 hours of a drug program.

I went back to school on Septmember 12th, 2004. (My birthday). As i was packing my stuff me and my dad got in a fist fight... he started it, threw a punch to my left shoulder and i wilded out on his bitch ass and ripped his collared shirt and swung crazy shit. although i was crying and i tend to get depressed when i hear conversations about how kidz talk about how much they love their parents, i will never let my parents take my will power. my parents are ignorant assholes, and they will never understand tha pain they put me through.

Thank god i have Cassie to keep me saine...(not my girlfriend) just a wonderful person that truely has a caring heart. i dont know what i would do without her, all tha fone calls, and hugs she gives me, they mean alot. i dunno, i rather not get into all that mushy stuff right now...... but i deff kno that i truely believe she is tha most postive/best person i have ever met. I owe her tha world...lol

Peace out.... Matt
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